Title: Luck Be a Lady Tonight Author: Charlene charlene.vickers@gmail.com Series: DS9 Rating: PG Codes: S, B, O'B, Jake/f (implied) Part: 1/1 Summary: I do not own Star Trek or the characters. Archive: trekiverse.org, ASCEML, please ask otherwise. Note: A silly response to Stephen's October challenge, now that I've got my lucky laptop back. Takes place in the 5th or early 6th season of DS9 - doesn't matter that much. ****** Sisko handed the engineer the 26 mm flux coupler. "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all today," he said in passing. "What do you mean, sir?" O'Brien replied, frowning at the blackened EPS connection module as he shone the emergency lamp on it. He shook his head. "From the time I woke up this morning everything's gone wrong. First of all I trip over Kasidy's suitcases on the way to the fresher room - why she dropped them right them in the doorway I don't know - and then the shower breaks down right when I'm covered in lather. Jake picks breakfast to tell me that he's 'in love' with the head of Cryptography-" "Commander Burns? She's 37 years old. She just divorced that Barrelian. Hyperspanner." "I know. I don't think she knows he exists." He passed O'Brien the tool. "Then when I arrived at my office I ordered a raktajino from the replicator, but I got a cup of raw eggs." "God." O'Brien made a face. "I saw that in the repair queue before we left. Although my day hasn't been exactly stellar, either. I ended up in the Infirmary at 0430 after falling over one of Yoshi's toys. I swear he drags them out in his sleep. Then I missed breakfast. Then Keiko yelled at me because of something Molly said. Then Rom called in sick." He poked his head out of the access port in the floor. "What about you, Julian?" The doctor looked up from his medical journal. "What was that?" "Have you had anything else go wrong today, Doctor?" Sisko asked. "Isn't this bad enough?" He gestured towards the runabout's front console. "Emergency power, no shields, no warp drive, no impulse engines, no replicators, no communications..." "But before this, everything was okay?" O'Brien asked. "Until thirty minutes ago." The engineer gave him a sidelong look. "Come help me then. The two of us have had so much bad luck between us today that we're probably jinxing the electrical system." "I'm a doctor, not Lady Luck, Miles," Bashir said, putting his padd down and standing. "Besides, you hate it when I try to help. You say _I'm_ bad luck." "Well, that's why I'm asking you now. The situation's reversed and - JESUS!" He pulled his hand back as sparks flashed. "Hold on." Bashir knelt down beside the access port and scanned the burn. "That's second-degree. I don't want to operate the dermal regenerator too close to that module; it might set the thing off again. Hop out." The engineer rolled his eyes as he hauled himself up to the deck. "Last thing I need right now." ****** Three hours later, O'Brien dropped his phase coil resonator into the toolbox and sighed. "That's the best I can do, Captain. We've got thrusters, life support, shields, emergency lighting, and subspace transmitters." "Thank you, Chief. Do we have replicators?" Sisko asked as he switched on the emergency beacon. "No, sir. We'll have to break out the ration packs. Can't say as I mind myself." He opened the emergency supplies drawer and pulled out three sealed bags. "Looks like we have enough for at least a month for the three of us." "Let's hope we don't need all of them," Julian said from his corner of the darkened runabout, turning in his chair to catch the pack O'Brien threw at him. "We're only six hours from Deep Space Nine at warp five, but on thrusters it'd take us six months to get to the nearest solar system." Sisko took a bite of his ration bar and made a face. "Bitter." He stripped off the packaging and looked for an expiry date. "I wonder if it's gone bad." Bashir took the label from Sisko and read it. "It's not out of date; there's coffee in that type of ration bar. Well, caffeine at least. It's a Bolian breakfast bar." "Coffee? It tastes like unsweetened chocolate." He finished the bar against his better judgment, washing away the taste with the small bottle of water from the pack. "How's yours, Chief?" "Completely tasteless," O'Brien replied. "I usually like rations, but this one tastes like - I don't know, solid water." "Mine's great," Bashir offered. "Tastes a bit like fettucine alfredo." Sisko looked back at the drawer. "Maybe I should try another one." Bashir and O'Brien both shook their heads. "Captain," Bashir said, "that bar contained a full day's worth of calories and nutrients. We have to face the possibility that we might be here a while. We can't waste food just because we don't like it." Sisko fixed the doctor with a skunk eye. "I want you to know, this is mutiny." "It's common sense, sir," O'Brien interjected. "One bar a day is enough." He harrumphed. "Very well." He finished his stale water. ****** "So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat." Sisko glared at the viewscreen. "It's about time. And we're not that melancholic." Dax grinned from the captain's chair on the Defiant. "From the looks on your faces you'd think you were all at your own funerals. We'll beam the three of you aboard and take the Yangtse Kiang in tow. Stand by." They felt the tingle of the transporter and were soon aboard the ship. "What took you so long?" Sisko asked Dax as he stepped off the transporter pad. "You've only been out here eleven hours. It's not even 2200 yet," she said as she moved to the navigation console. "We'll be back at Deep Space Nine within the hour." "Why the long faces anyway?" Kira asked. O'Brien rolled his eyes. "Eleven hours with Doctor Fun here-" "Hey!" Bashir cried. "-who graced us with all four stanzas of 'Take Me Out To the Ball Game' and what he calls the Vegas version of 'Luck Be a Lady Tonight'-" The doctor frowned. "I have been told on many occasions that I have a lovely singing voice. In fact, I-" "Gentlemen!" Sisko held his hands up. "That's enough. Chief, perhaps Engineering requires your assistance. Doctor, if you could get me something for this headache..." Kira spoke up. "That reminds me, Chief. You've received a few messages since you've been gone." She looked down at her monitor. "First of all, your daughter messaged me wanting to know, 'why does Mommy get mad when I say, "double damn you to bloody hell", but she doesn't get mad at Daddy?' I thought you might want to handle that." He groaned as everybody on the bridge laughed. "Second message, Rom says the EPS conduits in sections 14 and 15 have gone on the fritz. He's still down with that ear infection, though, so he hasn't done anything about it. And you have a private message from Keiko marked Priority Urgent." "For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game, eh?" Bashir said behind him as they left the bridge. O'Brien turned to the doctor. "Take the cheese to sickbay, all right?" he grunted. Bashir just laughed. ****** Sisko rubbed his forehead as he entered his quarters. The headache remedy Bashir had given him was wearing off; he thanked the Prophets it was almost 2600. A sudden thump and the sound of somebody swearing faintly came out of the spare bedroom, where Jake had been staying for the past few days while his new quarters were being fumigated for voles. He went to check on his son. "Dad!" Jake was in bed, a patently false smile on his face, his bedclothes pulled up to his neckline. The folding door to his closet was swinging for some reason. "I just wanted to see how you were," Sisko said with a wave of his hand. "Have a good-" He looked back at the far wall. Why were two feet - two bare female feet - sticking out of the bottom of the closet? He pulled aside the folding door. "Captain." The brunette tightened the blanket around her as she gave him an embarrassed smile. He stared. "Commander Burns! What are you doing in Jake's closet?" "I, um..." She looked everywhere but in his face, then said with a weak grin, "Waiting for you to leave?" He bit his lower lip in an attempt not to explode, then spoke, enunciating every word carefully. "I will see you in my office in thirty minutes." He spun on his heels, glared at Jake, and walked out of the room. Behind him, he heard Jake say, "We're all going to die." "Just me, Jake," the female voice replied. "Just me."